I love shopping bulk. When my feet alight the floors of Sam’s, my heart skips a few beats and I ain’t kiddin’. I sorta wish I were because that’s really geeky of me. If I had $1000 to just spend in any one store, that store would be Sam’s Club. I tell you this so you’ll know that I shop Sam’s because I love Sam’s. I don’t necessarily shop Sam’s to save money.
I’ve never been one to crunch numbers. I’ve never been one to crunch much of anything which is why my abs look like they do (bread dough, anyone?). But a few times a year, I’ll look at my massive carton of Olive Oil and wonder ‘AM I saving money?’
On one hand, it’s nice to stock up on stuff like toilet paper because we live out in the country.
On the other hand, we spend so much in gas (over $60 a trip) to just go to the city (read: to go to Sam’s Club).
On one hand, the prices ARE lower! Two pounds of colby/jack cheese for 6 bucks!
On the other hand, we pay a $40 membership… and then there’s the gas.
On one hand, we don’t have to shop for essentials regularly.
On the other hand: we still do.
It’s all my fault, and here’s why: I use more of the essentials if we have them. I once made the monumental mistake of buying the Sam’s Club size Crisco Shortening and proceeded to bake my weight in cookies. Bad, bad. How did THAT save money? or time? or health?
Take last night for instance. The kids were bored. They were starting to fight, and I had spent all day not really playing with them because I was getting a costume ready. I played the part of Ruth in a Relief Society program last night, and I hadn’t gotten a costume ready at all. I ended up saying a prayer the MORNING OF the program and taking a pair of scissors to three yards of yellow fabric.
(Note to Jewel: I finally used up the last of the pale yellow fabric! Now I’ve got to figure out how to use up the yards and yards of school bus yellow fabric. Boo.)
(Note to Sara: your sister, Emily, is on the front row dressed as the mother of Joseph who was sold into Egypt. She was laughing because she is pregnant and portraying a woman who died giving birth. She did awesome.)
(Note to Laurie: Beki is on the far right. She portrayed Emma Smith and did an amazing job.)
(Note to Kristal: thanks a million for snapping pictures for me, champ.)
Carol Shelly is on the far left. She’s the most beautiful woman in town.
I can’t tell you how nervous I was about this whole thing. Silly, isn’t it? I was amongst friends! Anyway, it was a really neat experience (“the memory of which I wouldn’t part with for anything”). As I stumbled through the door of my home after the program, arms laden with food and head laden with a headache, I saw my kiddos. They needed the attention they’d been denied all day.
“Let’s play,” I said to my daughter.
“PIRATES?!” She asked.
“Sure,” I nodded. My son went immediately into action, throwing on his pirate hat (compliments of Gerri -thanks, Gerri!).
I went to the cupboards and pulled out my tin foil. I purchased it at Sam’s Club, you know.
I purchased approximately 50 thousand POUNDS of tinfoil all at once from Sam’s Club. I made three swords (ugly swords). After I’d been wounded and killed a number of times, I made a two guns (ugly guns). Then my little girl pirate magically turned into Snow White and requested a crown. I made her one that wasn’t up to par, so she asked for another, insisting I wear her cast-off. As long as we’re talking about insisting, I was also forced to call her Snow White for the remainder of the evening.
(check out her “beaded” necklace. I’ll sell you one for 10 cents.)
We had so much fun that Dad couldn’t resist playing with us.
I should have made my pirate name “Ruthless” on account of my still sporting half of my Ruth costume. Har har. Not like the kids would have appreciated my cheesy humor. Matter of fact: I don’t think they EVER will.
The question remains: Am I actually saving money by shopping at Sam’s?
The answer? Who givza.