Confessions: Post-Holiday Edition

#1) I love hot chocolate, but every time I indulge I find myself washing it down with at least 46 ounces of freezing cold water.  Yes, hot cocoa makes me thirsty -so thirsty I’d consider hocking my kidney for cool, clear water.  And yet, I still find myself guzzling the elixir of winter at least three times a week.  Okay, five.

#2) I went looking for my son on Christmas afternoon and couldn’t find him anywhere.  I really couldn’t.  Just before my instincts hit the PANIC button, I found him.
He was almost 100% camouflaged by the wrapping paper, toys, chocolates… packages, boxes and bags!

#3) Tony Stark fathered my children. Evidenced here:

And here:

#4) On Christmas Eve, I got up before the sun and dashed away to Wal-Mart where I beat the crowd (yay!) and spent the entirety of our food budget plus $2 on last-minute Christmas items such as chocolate and chocolate chips and white chocolate. On the drive home, I stopped off at Mom’s for some fresh eggs. Once home, my husband set to making a Christmas Eve Feast of a Breakfast. While our backs were turned, our son (Spawn #2 of Iron Man) snuck an egg. He proceeded to crack it on the kitchen floor. Instead of harassing him for stealing, I took a picture. His first cracked egg, and he didn’t even break the yoke! Of COURSE I had to capture it. My first cracked egg went down the front of my mom’s blender and down the front of my mom’s kitchen cabinets and all over my mom’s kitchen floor. And I was 8! He’s TWO! I’d love nothing more than to post evidence, but my husband imported the picture to a currently inaccessible file. But wait for it, and prepare to be dazzled.

#5) We slept in until 8 on Christmas morning.

#6) I’ve never seen “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

#7) I have a celebrity crush on The Old Man, dadgummit.

#8) I don’t read books. There. I said it. Recently, facebook was hit with a list of books that apparently not many people have read. The idea was: you were supposed to go through the list and then report back to all of your adoring facebook fans JUST how many books you had read. I wished I could have read the list and come off conquerer. Instead, I came off pathetic. The Harry Potter Series? Nope. I ditched that darkfest somewhere in the middle of book three. A Christmas Carol? I’m ashamed to say… never. I’ve never read it. I’ve seen about eleventy million movie versions though. I haven’t read the Twilight series. I haven’t read The Hunger Games. One solitary Stansfield book aside, I haven’t read any LDS fiction. I have to tell you this because I think I give the impression that I do read when, in fact, I don’t. It isn’t that I don’t like to read. I’m constantly picking up quote books and perusing my book full of Frost poetry, but those are books that don’t require bookmarks of any kind! I can pick them up and put them down at will without ever having to WAIT to find out what happens next.

Two summers ago, I read a nonfiction book and loved it so much that I recommended it to Granny. She told me she’d look into it after Christmas.
“I only read during the week after Christmas,” she said, “What did you do last year during the week after Christmas?” she asked. I had no answer for her -I was completely baffled.
“No one can answer that question,” she said, “No one seems to know what they do during that time. No one even takes the time to write in their journals what they do during that week because apparently they don’t do anything. Since I’m not going to remember what I do anyway that week, I take it to read.”

Her reasoning is sound -very sound.

And yet… and yet… Santa brought me something better than a book. And don’t go guessing “A KINDLE?!” because I’ll scratch my eyes out over the prospect of library books becoming extinct.
No, no. He brought me a lap top.

And so we go #9) We’re on number nine, right? I could just scroll up and find out but I’d rather not. I’m actually doing good to just type what I’m typing now on my new keyboard. I’m afraid if I try to scroll, I’ll delete something monumental (like that uber hot picture of Darren McGavin). It turns out I will be spending the week after Christmas WRITING. My heart should like to leap out of my chest! (Mostly because I keep feeding it fatty holiday food, but that’s another Resolution post for another day. In the meantime, I just posted mom’s orange roll recipe on the cooking page. Delve on over.)