Junk Sifting

I love yard sales and used clothing/book/furniture/whatever stores. I used to shop for clothing almost exclusively at thrift stores when I was in High School. I’ve been blessed with a complete inability to coordinate my clothing or look suave. It used to bother me until I embraced it. Now it only bothers me when I need to look fancy for something, like a wedding.

I especially love finding older “junk.” About a month ago, I found this egg beater at Savers:

And I absolutely love it. I love it! Just looking at it makes me happy. Yeah it’s got ugly green handles. Yeah I would love one that was actually 100% metal. But the more I look at the one I’ve got, the more I love it… more.
Yesterday my sister went with me to Savers. Before going on with this post, I just have to say: What the devil is up with Saver’s pricing?!?! I found a big pot -exactly like one my mom has (used to have?). It was the sturdiest post she had and it often graced us with homemade play dough on rainy days. When I saw one at Saver’s, almost the exact same color, I was so happy… until I saw the price. $15! Are you kidding me? I could snag if for $4 tops at a yard sale! Then I noticed it was a set. It had two smaller pots the same color beside it, and they were both individually priced as well. My sister spotted an old old trunk, just beautiful with wear and tear. It wasn’t pretty at all. Only she or I would have liked it. A man’s name had been spray painted to the top using a stencil (army style, maybe?). It was priced at $30. I should have liked to have screamed. I get so excited to go to Savers only to be let down by their ever-increasing prices. Don’t they know we’re in a recession? Don’t they know that if anyone should be catering to the weary, poor and down-trodden it should be THEM?!
All right.
All right now.
I’m done.

I never, ever leave Savers without hitting the book section. I walked out yesterday with a Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook from the 60’s and a book full of short stories written by Dorothy Parker, someone I would never be real friends with but whom I love dearly from a distance. And by “distance” I’m talking about time, not space. It always takes me about a century to look through the books. I didn’t realize that while I was looking, my daughter grabbed one. While my sister was trying on clothes, I noticed my daughter looking through her book. I asked her if I might see it. It was a book filled with tips for husbands on romancing their wives. Forgive me, reader, for I haven’t the slightest what the name of it was.
But get a load of this… load:
If my husband ever did that, I would be so turned off. Also, I’d wonder what happened to his brain and where my real husband went. I’m not your Cinderella, man. I don’t work like she did. I don’t transform into royalty. I don’t have a fairy godmother, and I’d rather DIE than wear glass shoes of any kind. Also, if the mice around here start singing… I’ll blow them to bits out of sheer terror.
This one made me laugh out loud and I drew a few stares. Honey, don’t you know I spend half my life tripping over stuffed animals and throwing them out whenever chances arise? Why would you gift me with one and where, pray tell, am I going to put it?
Am I cynical? I prefer to say “realist,” but every cynic does.
If my husband did that, I wouldn’t be able to help laughing. It would be horribly rude, so I’m going to pray that he never, ever does.
Though I do love a good skeleton key. I’m currently wishing for a bunch of skeleton key drawer pulls:

If he gave me an handful of those and told me I held the key to his heart, I might be able to stifle my giggles. Might maybe.

My son was a trooper through it all, but there’s only so much shopping a male of any age can take.
Today I’m going to try out a few of my new recipes and read a few more Dorothy Parker stories.

Isn’t she the most beautiful woman you ever saw?
I wouldn’t trade lives with her for the world, but she is beautiful.

One last picture:
This picture come to us from my BHG Cookbook. It’s the first picture in the section titled “”Jiffy Cooking.” Inspiring, isn’t it? (There’s sarcasm oozing out of my laptop right now which can only mean one thing: it’s time to log off.)


  1. Those romancing tips are hilarious. So cheesy. Sometimes I wish I had six arms, but try finding a shirt with six sleeves at the thrift shop–nigh unto impossible.

    • storylady says:

      Aren’t the hilarious? I feel bad laughing so hard at them, but really. A stuffed animal? A shoe under the seat in my car? Um, can I just have a note and candy bar instead?

  2. The old cookbooks and housekeeping books are a hoot, I have a few of them and it’s so funny to see where we have come as a society. Wow, talk about condescending.

    • storylady says:

      I just love reading all of their dessert sections. They had wild abandon before cholesterol was brought to light. Total party pooper! I love those old cookbooks and the pictures that go with.

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