And No, I’ve Never Eaten Lifebuoy

I paid a visit to my eye doc yesterday.  The reason?  I’ve been having trouble seeing.  Truth be told: I’ve been having trouble seeing since I was nine, and my vision has progressively become worse.  My current prescription is -8 in both eyes.

Yep, I’m THAT blind.

I got glasses in third grade -contacts in 9th.  I haven’t been able to see without help in years.  YEARS.

Two nights ago, I fell asleep at the foot of my bed.  I was laying on my stomach, reading “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz” and I crashed.  Next thing I knew, I woke up and my glasses and book had been moved to a safe location (NOT the foot of the bed) and I was asleep where I should be (NOT the foot of the bed).  When my husband woke up, I thanked him for putting my glasses and book in a safe place.  He told me he didn’t know what I was talking about.


It seems like I’m instinctively protective of my sight enablers.  Even if I’m not aware of it, I’m taking care of them.  And I should.  Because they look like normal glasses and NOT like

Thank you, modern technology. THANK YOU!

Anyway, anyway this is all going somewhere.
My vision is as good as I can hope for (thank you modern technology), but I keep seeing weird … almost REFLECTIONS of lights right above the real lights.
For example: when I’m driving through a green light, I see the real green light, and then just above the real green like is a sort of reflections of it. This happens with all kinds of lights! Headlights, marquees, closed captions on television sets… so I finally went to the doctor.
He was stumped. The only explanation he could offer was really sort of complicated. Basically, I’m so blind that the light has to travel through all sorts of CRAP -ahem, my outrageously high prescription lenses, be they glasses or contacts -before it actually hits my natural eye. Somewhere between the natural light and my natural eye, the colors are reflecting, causing me to see (perceive) two.
I don’t understand.
I mean, I DO understand what’s going on, but I don’t understand WHY. WHY would this happen to a good little 25 year old girl who never once used the F dashdashdash word OR had her mouth washed out with Lifebuoy?

Though maybe I should give it a try:

I’m all about daintiness.

Anyway, I’m blind. But at least I can still sort-of see. Mostly.

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