My New Diet

So last evening, I started this super cool new diet that’s totally free. I think I lost 7 pounds last night alone.

It’s called Food Poisoning or something like that.

I’m out sick today which means my house looks incredible and I’m using my down time to teach my baby her alphabet in Chinese, French, and German. Or not.

I was taking a super hot bath last night to try and help ease my discomfort when Alice came in, bringing a waft of cold air with her.
“Hi, Mama!”
“Alice, hi… where’s Daddy?”
“He gone. He all gone.”
“He’s gone? Outside?”
“He all gone.”
“Where’s Lacy?” I asked her, hoping to get a little help getting the baby because she can only be around a bathtub filled with water for about 30 seconds before she gets INTO IT.
“Lacy play Leapster.”
“Okay… don’t touch the water, okay?”
Alice’s hands gripped the sides of the bathtub and she wiggled them forward, backward… testing, testing…
“No touch,” she echoed.
“Can you get Lacy?” I asked.
“Oops!” She smiled innocently at me, showing me her wet fingertips, “I touch.”
“Can you get Lacy?” I asked again, my nausea was getting the better of me and I needed help.
“You do it, Mama! Say… LACY! HI HEED YOU! PLEEEEEEASE! Say please, Mama.”
SUCH a problem solver.
If you want something done, Mom, do it your own capable self.

(Hi heed you is Alice-speak for “I need you.” And I must say it’s pretty much impossible to resist when she uses it and holds her little arms up to be held.)

That said, I’m leaving you with a list of what I’m grateful for today:

1) indoor plumbing
2) heavy blankets
3) wool socks
4) Gatorade
5) recliners
6) electronics to keep Alice out of the toilets
7) diffusers
8) indoor plumbing

Happy Hump Day, all.

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