I have a stack of the handiest changing pads.
I use them on a daily basis -I never, ever change my wee bairn without one. They magically transform any and every surface into a changing table. Yesterday, I put my baby on my bed on top of a changing pad. I took her diaper off. I wiped up the mess.
And then she peed.
Please understand when I say that “she peed” what I’m really saying is that a small Atlantic Ocean dribbled from her body and onto the poor, overwhelmed changing pad. I was frantically picking up one corner, then another, then another… but the little Ocean was unstoppable. My husband happened to be nearby, and he snatched up the baby. I snatched up the changing pad and the Ocean?
Onto the bed, my pants, the pillow on the floor…
And as I’m trying to grapple with the mess, my darling bare-bottomed Alice -who was being held in mid-air by her armpits -proceeded to poo.
I reached out with her dirty diaper and caught that mess before it had a chance to hit the floor.
Cleaning up poo through tears of laughter isn’t all bad, really.
My husband put the baby on our soft bathroom mat while we cleaned up the bulk of the Oceanic Spill. We took the sheets off the bed.
“Third time this week!” My husband said, “We are NOT changing the baby on the bed anymore!”
(We’ll see how long that lasts.)
We took the giant pillow case off the giant pillow (my 9-foot beauty).
I shred my pants.
And that’s when I heard it… a shriek of pain. My poor three-week old baby was crying out in PAIN. I ran to her side to find her small left fist curled around her beautiful black hair.
She was PULLING her own hair, and the harder she screamed, the tighter she pulled.
It was a sad little scene. I gently loosened her grip on her own hair, and her cries went from pained to pathetic. And I gotta say: there’s nothing cuter than a pathetic little baby cry -the sweet sound they make when they need to talk about how hard their life is.
And then she pulled her hair while I tried to bathe her.
Needless to say, she’s now sporting one of those awesome newborn outfits that has little hand pockets. She can’t pull her own hair this morning!
And yes -that is a picture of how her hair looks this morning. Best Baby Bed Head Ever.
PS: She slept for 11 hours last night, and only woke up twice to eat. And when I say “woke up” I mean she got a little restless and latched on long enough to get back to sleep.
I feel awesome today. I MIGHT shower.