So I’v been cleaning for the past four years. It’s TRUE. It’s TRUE. I’m not good at it. I’m inclined to think that if I WERE good at it, I wouldn’t have to do it as much. I mean, I spend all morning cleaning one area of the house and by the early evening, it looks just as bad as it did before I cleaned it. It’s moments like that I think one of two things.
#1) What did I do wrong?
#2) What in the blazes am I DOING with my life?
Usually I think #2 because, let’s face it, it’s the easiest conclusion to draw from the situation. Anyway, I’ve been walking around all day hampered by thought #2, and I’m really pretty overwhelmed in housework. And when I say “really pretty overwhelmed” I mean “My house is trying to eat me -starting with my mush-for-brains.”
I read a quote by an upstanding housekeeper once. She said that it is important to remember when you visit mothers of young children that, in general, the mother used to be a good housekeeper, and someday she WOULD BE again. I have always believed that to be true for myself. Not for anyone else, though, because I never go into other people’s houses and think something like, “Geez, lady. Nice mess.” In fact, I never really notice there is a mess unless the woman points it out.
Anyway, there once was this ecstatic, brief period when my husband was gone all of the time for work training and my daughter was a newborn (read: completely immobile) when my house was nice and clean. I spend a lot of time thinking about that because when I do, I convince myself that YES I WAS a good housekeeper once and YES I WILL be one again.
Right?
Well, today has been one of those days where I solidly disbelieve it.
Today has been one of those days where I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that someday someone will make a bad example of me.
Naughty, naughty woman. She took time to blog, but she didn’t take time to clean. And then there’s the loooooonnnnng list of “if’s”
If I had the money to just go out and buy everything little organizational thing I need…
If I just had a bookcase…
If I just had a somewhere to keep my linens…
If I just had access to a housekeeper…
If I just had access to a professional organizer…
If I only had a brain…
I believe in every one of those “if’s.” I really, really believe in them. And yes, it is one of my vain dreams to hire a professional organizer. I’m hoping that he or she turns out to be like a dentist -the kind of person that has ALWAYS seen worse than what you’re showing (which is doing a pretty good job of being horribly bad). I hope they’ll just “tsk, tsk” and ask me if I clean (much like the hygienist asks me if I floss) and then start teaching me just how certain things are done.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to brave my kitchen. I’ve been working tirelessly on it but it doesn’t show and I’m still frightened of it.
But I’m more hungry than scared at this point.
Also, I need a thicker, uglier apron.
Have you ever heard of flylady? I’m nowhere near perfect at it, but it’s helped me out with my housework a TON! Just don’t subsribe to the emails. They’ll drive you batty. Don’t be so hard on yourself either. A clean house is soooo overrated.
I’m just glad you’re not the kind of mom that doesn’t let her kids do anything because she’s afraid it will get messy. Your kids will thank you for it. :)
I think you are so hard on yourself!
This post really made me laugh! Not at you but WITH you! I feel the same way! Sometimes I feel insecure about my inability to maintain and manage my home like other people can. But you just need to be patient and forgiving of yourself! Laugh!