Hair Today

I talk a lot about the retreat my mom and I went to last summer. I got a new hair cut and color there, and I learned a lot.
One thing I learned was that men don’t understand certain emotions.
“We don’t understand what it’s like to cry after getting a bad hair cut,” the male motivational speaker said. And the room full of women he was speaking to laughed.
Except yesterday it wasn’t so funny… because two days after getting a hair cut and style, I cried for a good thirty minutes. And when I say “I cried” I’m not saying that my eyes were moist and I dabbed a little at them… I’m saying I hunkered down on my bed and BAWLED.

Before you roll your eyes, let me just explain a few things.
I don’t ever get my hair cut and colored. After going to the retreat, I didn’t get my hair cut for over a year… forget about color. I saved up money like you wouldn’t believe and I swore to myself that for my birthday, I would go back to an Aveda salon and get my hair redone.
I absolutely could NOT love my hair more last summer. It was prettier than I ever thought it could be! I would style it everyday and just LOVE it.
I couldn’t wait to have that again -no matter how much it cost. And COST it did.
Well, $193.
And while I tried to push aside thoughts like, “That’s a baby stroller” and “guess how many diapers you’re NOT buying so you can spend all that money on yourself? You selfish vixen.”
I have never spent so much on my silly hair before. Heck, I’ve never spent that much on myself anywhere on anything!

When the stylist at the Aveda salon in Utah -where the retreat was -styled my hair, she wrote down the color formula she used on a card. And she gave the card to me.
And I gave the card to the stylist at the Aveda salon I went to.
She seemed doubtful, and offered instead of a complete dye with highlights to give me instead a lot of low lights and some highlights.
Now. I listened to her reasoning and I agreed, and I’m glad I did.
Because the colors on the card WERE NOT the colors I got at the retreat. If I had dyed my hair the base color written on the card rather than just gotten low lights… oh ho, buddy.
I showed my stylists pictures of the haircut I’d gotten in Utah. And now I don’t really know why… because my hair.

And I shouldn’t care so much because hair grows, right? But ladies. I’m planning on getting maternity pictures done, and I’m planning on holding a brand newborn in my arms… with THIS hair!  It’s not long like it was.  It’s not my friend.  And it will forever be immortalized by the birth of my newest baby!  I’m so sad!

Okay, now that I’ve said that: it isn’t the worst hairstyle I’ve ever had. But it is the most disappointing because after spending $193 and waiting a full year for a cut, you want to absolutely love your hair.
I don’t even LIKE my hair. So yeah. I bawled. And then I phoned a friend and shared my cloud o’ doom and gloom with her, and she was sweet and understanding about the whole thing.
I took a before picture out in the parking lot of the salon. It isn’t awesome because… who does their hair before going to get their hair done?
The after picture was taken in my yard because you can hardly see the expensive color in my hair unless the sun is blazing down on me. And yeah, I had just finished crying all of my make-up off.

Like I said: I’m not about to bury my head in a million different baseball caps or opt for french braids until it grows out longer or the color fades. It’s fine. It’s a fine cut.
And I just paid $200 for a fine cut.

Like a crazy lady, I had all these images of me walking out of the salon, meeting my husband and hearing him say, “WOW! I’M SO GLAD I MARRIED YOU AND THAT WE MAKE BABIES… IF IT WAS POSSIBLE TO PROPOSE AND MARRY YOU ALL OVER AGAIN, I WOULD!”
What do you think he said?
“Um, is that what they gave you when you went to the retreat?”
*sigh* “No.”

Ladies and Gentlemen of the press, I’m seriously considering calling the salon in Utah and asking for the other stylist… getting her cell phone number, TEXTING her the picture I took of the two of us together after I got my hair done and asking if she remembers what formula she used.
Or if she could guess it.
She did tell me last summer that if I had any questions to call because she had been wanting to try the colors she put in my hair on someone for a long time… and she wasn’t likely to forget them. But it has been a year.
Am I really crazy enough?

I would pay $200 for THAT!

The stylist at the salon I went to did make sure to tell me that what she gave me was not what my pictures looked like, color wise.  I hoped CUT WISE at least it would be.  But, no.
There’s a part of me that just hates myself.
I should have bought the stroller. I should have bought diapers. I should have bought a pack n play.
I should NOT have ever thought spending extraordinary amounts of cash on my stupid hair would ever be worth it.
So I will wait for it to grow out and then I will cover my head in ashes and spend the rest of my days striving to rid my soul of vanity.
Not to be dramatic, or anything…


  1. I have to say, I really like your hair, but I LOVED your hair last summer. I had to laugh a little when I got to the end of the post and the title of the previous about frosting fixing everything – it conjured up a silly mental image.
    You are a beautiful, charismatic, woman! Your style and your hair always look great. Although, you could probably send a copy of this post to your former Provo stylist and ask if Aveda has a money back guarantee that she would honor for you.

  2. I am so sorry. It is horribly disappointing to spend so much on something and not completely love it. Why isn’t there a return policy on hair cuts?

    • I actually DID end up calling the girl who did my hair last year. We figured out that the formula she gave me was right, so I have NO idea what the heck went on last week. I set up a follow up appointment for next Friday to see if we can figure this expensive mystery out. The color she gave me is definitely NOT the color I had written down. It’s waaay too dark.

  3. That is definitely frustrating! If it’s any consolation though I think you look great! You have always had the prettiest hair…short or long!

    • You’re too nice. I should start paying you when you stay stuff like that. But really: I feel like you should be getting paid for all the coolness that you bring into my life. I still can’t get enough of that awful children’s book. I show it to everyone and I’m seriously considering sending it to Ju on her mission… even though it’s probably not mission approved :)


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