Just You an’ Me

Something I’ve loved most about the past few months is the time I’ve had with just my boy. When my daughter goes to school, I have a few hours each day alone with my little man.
I love it so much.
I could have sent him to preschool, but I didn’t. I wanted to keep him close. He’s mine.
My precious.
I decided when my daughter started school that I would take FULL advantage of the one-on-one time with my son. Mid-morning yesterday, I realized that it would be my LAST day with just… you an’ me, Mom.
Everyday after my daughter got on the bus, my son would turn to me with his BIG eyes and excitedly say, “It’s just you an’ me, Mom!” He would grab my hand, and we’d go back inside.
Usually I’d put on a movie for him while I took a bath or got a few things done… one day I actually managed to take a bath before the kids got up, so I didn’t need one later on. It upset my son.
“You’re supposed to take a bath, Mom,” he said, “And I’m supposed to watch Netflix.”
I felt really bad when he said that -I should have been spending more time outside with him. I should have been letting his toes squish in mud and we should have been catching spiders.
But pregnancy kind of REALLY throws a wrench in my adventuring spirit.
Yesterday, when I realized I’d squandered my Just You an’ Me time… I was filled with regret. Tears started forming in my eyes, and I told the kids I needed a bath.
I made it to the bathroom just in time -I cried. I cried HARD. The running water was loud enough to mask my sobs, and I let it run run run.
My time! My precious time alone with JUST my son -my son that I have such a special connection with! -it was just… GONE! What had I done?
I was heartsick.

I pulled myself together as best I could, fully realizing that the amount of tears I was crying was beyond irrational. I got my daughter on the bus and like clockwork heard the words “Just you an’ me, huh Mom?”
“Yeah, what should we do? We can do anything you want to!”
“Get a TREAT!” He said.
So I drove him to the hottest (and only) treat spot in town. I let him pick out whatever the heck he wanted.

Every night at dinnertime, I go around the table and ask, “What was your favorite part of today?”
Along the way, my daughter has tacked a few questions onto the list… namely: What was your yuckiest part of today? and What was your funniest part of today?
My son’s answer to the first (What was your favorite part of today?) was always the same -every night.
“Spending time wiff you, Mom.”

As I walked my son through the busy truck stop yesterday, I felt so guilty. Had he REALLY spent time with me? I mean, REALLY?
We paid for our treats and took them to the car.
“Where should we go now?” I asked.
“Home,” he said in a tone that made me feel like I’d been born yesterday.
“Home?” I asked, surprised.
“Yeah! I always want to go home and finish watching my movie!”
Dumbo.

It turns out I have spent the past few months with my son doing EXACTLY what he’s wanted to do. Stay home with Mom. Watch some movies.
It turns out my son doesn’t care WHAT we do together, so long as we just ARE together. He was my main errand-runner, my mail-getter, my back scratcher, my nap buddy!
And yesterday he was my junk food buddy.

We sat next to each other and downed our chocolate milk.
Question: can you sip your chocolate milk? I can’t. I try but I always end up throwing it back… I LOVE chocolate milk. Sipping is impossible.
My homemade hot chocolate is about the only thing that can get me to sleep at night these days. Last night (or should I say TO-night?) I got three full hours on one pint of hot cocoa. That’s not bad. For me. Lately.

Didn’t I tell you we had a special bond?

See the oreos in his teeth? Priceless.
They’ll soon turn to cavities. Pricey.
My son fell asleep early tonight which left me some alone time with my girl. Earlier that day, my sister in law had come over and helped me clean my house! I’m so happy!
By the time night rolled around, however, all the cleaning started to take it’s toll. It was one contraction right after the other. My stomach was tight, there were pinched nerves in my legs… I couldn’t walk.
My daughter curled up next to me on the couch. She’s such a sensitive little thing and she was near tears for most of our time together, though she was trying not to be. She wants to go to the hospital SO badly and I wish she could, but RSV season is in full swing. Our county is in second place right now for Most Cases of RSV in the Great State of Arizona.
I’m stoked (*sarcasm sign*).
I tried joking with my daughter about baby sister coming out… I did anything just to make her laugh.
It sort of worked… I wish I knew how to embed audio into my blog because I used my cell phone to voice record her prayer last night. It was the SWEETEST prayer I’ve ever heard.
“We pray that our Mom will do well and good. We love her so much…”

And that, sirs, is the last picture we’ll ever get of my little Lacy hugging on her unborn sister.
Because Mom’s about to be on her way to get that little sister born.