Return of the Torture

I knew it would happen. I think we all knew it would.
I think it’s been over a week since I’ve been able to actually TALK to my husband. I have a list, you know… Things to Talk to My Husband About. They aren’t BAD things at all. They’re just things: gardening, shopping, ideas, thoughts…

Someday I’ll get a minute to talk to him without his phone going off. In the meantime, my children are absolutely sick of me.
They proved it yesterday by showering my bedroom with baby powder.
I didn’t buy that mirror to actually USE it anyway.

I will admit that last night everything sort of spilled over and the kids were sent straight to bed right after their bath (in the which they pulled the plug three times and then begged for more water which I then gave them. And no, I haven’t stamped my forehead with “stupid.” Yet). They fought with each other and I was in the middle of it all -it was like a tornado of chaos and commotion… and my husband just happened to come home in the middle of it all.
He came home an hour earlier than expected. See, I had it all planned: when he got home, the house would be clean, a cherry pie would be baked and I would be speaking in a lovely, soft-toned voice. As it was, he surprised me by walking in the house minutes after I’d filled the tub for the second time.
“Didn’t you hear me knocking?” He asked, pulling his house key out of the door I’d forgotten I’d locked.
“Oh. You ruined everything.”

I’m sure that’s EXACTLY what he wanted to hear the minute he walked through the door. As it was, instead of a clean house, he had a dirty house. Instead of a cherry pie in the oven, he had a cherry pie half-made on the counter. Instead of a softly-toned voice, he had a wife speaking SO LOUDLY over running water that she didn’t even hear knocking on the door.

So much for that dream, folks.
The kids went right to sleep despite being sent to bed early and they both slept in. I guess they needed it as much as I did. And I guess they really need a good night’s rest to gear them up for more mommy time. Honestly, if it weren’t for treats, I think they’d ask to be adopted. But I have sugar on my side. Healthy? No. But I put family togetherness ahead of health sometimes.
In related news: the children had cherry pie for breakfast.

Thank goodness for treats, and thank goodness my children are miles of cute.

Even that biting little bird has me wrapped.