For Unto Some Is Given

There’s been something on my mind lately -I mean REALLY racking my brain. I’ve been try to answer the question: why?
Why do I do the things I do? What’s my motivation for doing them?

The reason I’ve been thinking about it is that for a few weeks there, I was terrified that perhaps the real reason I did most anything I did was to make myself look good. It was a haunting thought that plagued me -absolutely plagued me. I couldn’t lift a finger without wondering if what I was doing -whether it was my hair, cooking a meal, or calling a friend -was solely to satisfy my own vanity. I’ve told you before that my vanity is my own personal Everest. I don’t define vanity as “looking at myself in the mirror in complete awe of my awesomeness.”
I think vanity would definitely fit that bill, but I believe there’s more it. I’ve done extensive personal research on the subject, you know. Vanity, to me, is spending too much time dwelling on Number One. It’s spending thirty minutes picking out what to wear, just so others will look at it and see something admirable. It’s assuming that people ACTUALLY CARE what I’m wearing.
This is hard for me to write.
It’s revealing and embarrassing.
But I need to get my point across, so if you’ll just stay with me without hating me too much…

This vanity issue has sent me on a journey of self-discovery. I started analyzing my feelings, digging deep to find out why I did certain things.
I expressed my concern to Laurie over the phone, asking the question “I love to do acts of service, but why? Is it because I want people to notice and commend me?”
She replied with a question, “Would you still do it even if people didn’t notice?”
“Of course,” I said.
“Then you’re fine.”

A psychologist once spoke in a meeting I attended, and he stressed the importance of a third party when you’re in the midst of a problem. The answer seems hidden to us, but to someone with another perspective, it’s completely obvious.
Mira:

The answer is OBVIOUS to us, but because they’re in the thick of it, they can’t think clearly.

Now, now. Laurie was my fresh perspective in this case. What she said made a lot of sense, and I carried it with me while I went on my way.

In the last week, I’ve had something really stand out to me: talents.
As I did my dishes one day, I started thinking about being God. I have a beautiful window to look out of while I warsh my dishes, and I insist -no matter where I live -on having a thinking window over my sink. I love to look out of the window while I warsh. Too bad my name isn’t Wanda.
Wanda warshes whilst wearily wishing by her window.

I digress.

I thought about being God. I thought how fulfilling it would be to create worlds and people, and what a puzzle it would be.
“All right, I’m going to need a hairdresser of some kind sent down with these people… a baker… someone who is good with mechanical thinking… an entertainer…hmmm…” I could see myself in my mind’s eye, positioning peoples all over my world.
“A builder… a musician… an organizer… and someone with a good head on their shoulders… a leader…”

As a God, I would pour these abilities into the little souls in front of me. Unto one I would give athletic abilities. Unto another I would give the ability to create beautiful things… and the list goes on.
In my mind, I sent my little souls into my world and I watched over them, wondering what they would do with what I had given them.

They all went to work.
Some worked with others, their abilities built up and strengthening one another.
Some worked with others, letting others use their abilities for them because they deserved to be served.
Some worked alone.
Some worked at not working at all, which -it must be admitted -really takes it outta ya.
Some worked with others, and abandoned their abilities because they weren’t given what they wanted. Those were my little Tinkerbells (“I don’t want to be a tinker!”).

And as I thought about this, I thought mostly about those that felt they deserved to be served on account of their awesomeness, and I laughed. From where I sat, in my hypothetical Heaven, my little people were making me laugh.
“Yes, YOU are amazing,” I chuckled at them from above, “YOU do it all and YOU are the best. YOU YOU YOU. The world owes you everything because YOUR abilities are amazing. Wait, where did you get those abilities? Oh, that’s right. I gave them to you. Remember me? Hey! Hello?!”

I believe I was given certain abilities to bless the lives of others. Period. I feel that. I KNOW that.
I am an instrument for the One who created me. He put into me certain abilities for a reason, and I want to make absolute certain that I use them for what they were intended.

Do I serve so others will notice? No.
Do I crochet for compliments? No.
Do I raise children so people will commend ME? No.
Do I write so others will notice me? No.

So why? Why do I do it?

Here’s my answer: I do it because Heavenly Father wants me to, and I do it the way that He wants me to. We talk about it, you know. I tremble at the idea of standing before my Maker and having him peer into my soul and ask the question, “Do you know what you COULD have been if you had just USED what I gave you?” And then I’d cast my eyes down and hand him my muddy talent… the one I had buried so as to keep it safe.

I don’t clean well. I try. You know I do. Instead of working harder, I decided to work smarter. I went to a Cleaner.
My aunt. She’s not a professional cleaner, but she has that ability. My cleaning has improved drastically.
My husband is one happy camper.

And guess what? If you don’t crochet, I do!
Guess what else? I’m awful at hair and make-up, but there are a million beautiful women out there who WANT to help me!

We are given talents to use them to bless others. THAT is what life is about. THAT is what Christmas is about.

Please stay with me as I give you a few examples of what I’m talking about… I love to write. You know that. I have a deep, burning desire to use it to bless others. If I can help one person with what I write, I will write it. I want people to read what I’ve written and feel inspired.
I want them to feel something inside of them when they read. I want them to see God through my words. Go ahead, laugh if you want. I know it sounds cliche and Jesus-loving.
But it is the honest-to-goodness truth.

I recently read an article a man wrote about love. While I read it, I thought about the goodness of mankind, the potential of mankind… I was inspired, uplifted, and I wanted to be better. I thought about Heavenly Father’s love for us, and I thought about the Savior. Then… at the very end of the article, I thought ‘The author is a great writer.’
But that wasn’t my first thought, and that wasn’t my last thought because DAYS after reading the article, I’m still affected my it.
THAT is what I want.
THAT is where it’s at.

While browsing youtube looking for a rousing version of “O Holy Night” I stumbled on something different. Anyway, there’s some really irritating renditions of “O Holy Night” out there. O Holy Vibrato.
This is what I found. Please, please listen to the entire thing. It starts off slowly and builds and builds and builds, and IF you will close your eyes after a minute or two and JUST LISTEN, there’s a good chance your very soul will be stirred.
I cried, but that’s just the woman in me.

The song reaches you… touches you. You see God through it, and THEN you think about what a great voice Andrea Bocelli has. He sings so humbly, almost as if he’s doing his best to direct his attention OFF of him and ONTO Heavenly Father.
Well, success!

On the other hand…
Here’s an entertaining (and fictional) example of the flip side of this. All pay homage to Carlotta and her glorious voice!

As I watched The First Presidency’s Christmas Devotional last night, I felt the theme of giving of ourselves… giving of our individual abilities and letting go of commercialization. Of course we’ve heard that song sung before, but last night it meant so much more to me because I understood it better.
I thought of my little imaginary world with my imaginary hairdressers and bakers, and I just understood. It was illuminating.
You probably already understood it.
You probably chuckled your way through this post, thinking about how much time I waste figuring out the obvious.
But such is life.
We all find ourselves stranded on the escalator at some point on another. But this I promise: when you call out “HELLLLLPPPP!” I’ll be nearby to guide you to the stairs if I can. If I can’t, I’ll find someone who can. And if they can’t, together we’ll all find SOMEONE who can.

What better time to enjoy it than the Christmas season?
What better way to enjoy the season than a Christmas devotional? click HERE to watch what I watched last night.