For over a year, I’ve had the BEST calling in the world. I loved it SO much -and I couldn’t get enough of it! Every Sunday and Wednesday, I got to see my 12 and 13 year old girls. They told me all about school -all about home. They had a way of making me feel like a million bucks (“Sister Deets, you look like a movie star! I love your hair -it makes your eyes sparkle!” —hello, Compliment I Will Be Living On For the Next 5 Years!). I would be happy to be a Young Women Leader for the remainder of my days.
So when I got a new calling a couple of weeks ago, I spent an entire day engulfed in tears.
And yes, “engulfed” is the right word.
I was brave about it, you know, at first. But if life has taught me anything lately, it’s that you have to DEAL with emotion right when it smacks you across the brow or it will grow like a cancer inside your soul until it erupts in some unexpected, ugly mess that you wish you could take back.
I was brave for all of 5 minutes when I was in the Bishop’s office accepting my calling, but the minute I got to my car and gigantic sunglasses were safely over my face… it all poured out.
As we turned out of the church parking lot and onto the street, I cried out, “I won’t get to see them every Sunday!”
As we turned onto the next street I cried out, “I won’t get to see them every Wednesday!”
And as we turned onto the NEXT street I blared, “I WON’T GET TO GO TO THE TEMPLE WITH THEM!”
Once home, my husband wrapped his arm around me and told me it was okay to refuse callings. He was genuinely worried I was going to lose my mind, poor soul.
Deep, deep down I knew my new calling was for me, and I knew the girls would be put in the hands of someone more deserving and more capable. But as I made Sunday dinner, I privately devised ways to keep myself involved with the Young Women. I was overcome with jealousy, thinking about someone else having “MY” calling. Eventually, after I went through all of the grieving stages (and a few other stages unrelated to grieving), I moved into acceptance.
I sat down at my computer to DEAL with my emotions so they’d stop bubbling up every time I thought of “my” girls.
I wrote them a letter.
But first, I made sure my Kleenex box was right under my nose.
And so I’ve got to say goodbye to them. It makes my heart ache so much you’d think I was about to die. It seems silly, but love has a way of making us all seem silly -even if it isn’t the Romeo and Juliet kind.
I’ll always love “my” girls. No matter how old they get, where they go, or what they do… they’ll always be my girls.
And if one small group of young women can rake my heart over like this, I wonder what an entire Primary will do. Only the future will tell.
And if anyone has any hints, tips, or tricks for a new Primary President, I’m all ears.
Speaking of ears… Dad’s getting ready to sell his fresh corn. He doesn’t have a HUGE field like he used to, so hurry and place your orders! It’s the BEST corn in the world -and it freezes well. There’s nothing better than a bowl of corn chowder in the middle of winter. I promise. No matter what my KIDS say… there’s nothing better!
Oh boy. I’m sure you’ll miss your girls but you’ll be an amazing Primary President. Just know that you’re called to it for a reason and you’ll have all the help you need, even when it won’t seem like it. Good luck!!!
Congrats!! You will do FANTASTIC! Cayla got the same calling.
Alicia, all I can say is you will absolutely LOVE primary! I also recently got a new calling and I was released as the primary president. I wept. But, as you and I both know the Lord is mindful of where we are needed and what we need to continue growing! You will be spectacular. One thing I wish I would have done was kept a journal of all the funny things the kids would say. We laughed every Sunday! It was great! I look forward to reading about some of your fun times on your blog……. Good luck! :)
YOU ARE GOING TO DO AWESOME!!! They probably called you to that because you had learned everything there is to learn in young women’s. True story. :) You will do so great I just know it and I am so excited to hear the stories that happen! Just remember, whom the Lord calls the Lord qualifies (that’s something I have to keep reminding myself too). You will have great help too I’m sure! Good luck with it all!
Yes, you’ll be UTTERLY AWESOME. But…*sniffle* you will also be utterly missed.
Congratulations from one Primary President to another. I was put in a year ago in May. I was shocked. First because I am single with no children and never wanted to really be in the Primary, I need adult interaction; or so I thought. Anyway, you will love it. I have my stress but as another commenter stated, whom the Lord calls he qualifies. I actually attended a Regional Training Meeting last week with members of the General Primary Board and one topic they hit on is we may wonder what we have to give to a calling when we are called to it and have no idea why or what we can bring to it. But they explained to us the gifts we have – spiritual and physical such as our love, joy and enthusiasm – to share with the children. It is as with other things, maybe after the time we serve, then and only then will we see what we sowed in the hearts of those we served. Sorry to wax on, I am a bit emotional since we had a teacher’s inservice today and I love them all and shared how much I love them. Plus many people have commented how much the children love me – do I know this – yes. Especially when they go out during sacrament meeting to get a drink and they make sure to wave at me as they go past or how they race down the hall to be the first of my primary children to hand me a sacrament program. Oh the joy they bring. You will love it. I look forward to hearing your creativeness.